Shelter
by Anti-canon
Summary: Simon is beginning to feel the strains of his responsibilities and is surprised when Jayne is the one who offers him comfort.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright, so this is my first time posting any stories online. I have written plenty, But usually they just get pushed back into storage in a musty file on my computer. XP I do plan on making this a series, however I would appreciate some feedback letting me know that someone is interested and listening. Warning: this has not been proofread. I do not currently have any friends in the fanfic community, but comments are always appreciated. If anyone would like to perhaps remedy my problem, so not hesitate to say so. ^^ Okay, I know this is overly long, but it is my first time after all, cut me some slack. And comment!**

There is a single bathtub that occupies a small space within Serenity, a simple brass basin that rests on four sturdy legs. It's nothing special, but will last 'till the end of days and is large enough to comfortably accommodate two. For this reason it is only used once or twice during landfall- dependant on the amount of time the crew will be staying, but seeing as how they never make to stay long, once or twice is a fair ground rule, and only during landfall. It is hard to come by hot water in any case, and enough to fill the tub is absurd unless planet side.

For this reason there is a very strict and widely revered bathing schedule on the Serenity. Everyone gets a turn and sometimes it takes months for that turn to come by. Simon is hugely grateful that his turn has finally come around again. Most everyone has left the ship for the few nights that they will be here, but he has stayed behind- finding an urgent need for the now precious alone time and piece that is rather scarce on the ship.

The tub is filled as full as possible and steam rolls off the top. Simon strips, discarding the clothes in a wanton manner- able to do away with the calm and collected façade he works so hard to keep intact. With a prolonged hiss he slides into the water, letting the warmth envelop and numb him. Sighing deeply he sinks into the water, allowing only his nose on up to remain untouched. His breaths come out strained as he tries desperately to shut down his brain.

But he is praised for his ability to always run at such a high function. It is never quiet inside his head and it nearly drives him wild. He can see quite easily how his sister drove off the brink. He is always analyzing, deciphering- everything under close scrutiny. He just wants it to stop. A great wave of emotion flows over him and out of instinct he forces it down. He has been taught from the time that he was quite young just how useless and burdening emotions are.

He owes his current predicament to this upbringing. For months now he has begun feeling detached, weightless- as though if he is not tied down he will simply float away. Right now he stays for River, she needs him. But sometimes he finds that he will suddenly realize he's not sure where he is or what has been going on for the last half hour. The frequency with which this happens has been growing steadily and no matter how he tries to fix it, he can't stop this feeling that he's fading.

The water relaxes and he can feel the stress slowly leaking out. He focuses on the feel of the warm water penetrating his nerves. Sighing contentedly he starts to feel the familiar slip. As he sinks lower and lower into the water he is becoming less and less aware of what is going on around him. His head slips under and he revels in the clarity that surrounds him so completely. Everything down here is so calm and peaceful. The water flows effortlessly, the push and pull soothing. He could stay here- possibly forever. Here, away from it all…. He lets out the last jet of air within his lungs unaware of just what that entails.

His mind is sinking deeper, nearly at the bottom where it will finally quiet. But then, pain- searing pain. He vaguely feel a solid weight pressing down on him- insistent and panicked. Then everything seems to flood back with the water and bile that rises out of his chest and out his mouth. It takes a while for the fuzz to clear from his vision and brain. He sees Jayne sitting close to him- eyes puffy, lips wet, breathing labored. It takes a minute for this to sink in.

Jayne begins to yell at him, his arms making violent gestures, but he can't quite make out the words. He watches the large man's mouth as though it were a complex puzzle trying desperately to remember any kind of language. Then he watches dazedly as Jayne's large hand flies and smacks him in the face with a resounding slap. Everything snaps into place then. "Why you _Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng! _Don't you ever do that to me again, _Dong ma? _What were you thinking? Couldn't you feel your _gorram_ lungs screamin'? _Hwoon dahn_." he rubbed his face stressfully, closed his eyes and murmured something incoherent into his tightly folded hands.

"T-to you?" he's not sure why, but that is what he catches. He rubs tenderly at his stinging face and stares at the unfamiliar state Jayne is in, sitting before him. His cheeks are burning with shame- he feels so stupid and… useless.

"I-I meant ta yer sister. You're the only one in this 'verse that can take care o' her and you know it." he turned away quickly and started massaging his neck awkwardly. "You might wanna cover up now." he gestured with his chin and tried to throw a sneer at Simon, but neither of them believed it for a second.

Realizing for the first time that he was, in fact, naked Simon hurriedly grabbed the towel he carried in with himself and wrapped it around his waist. When he turned around again Jayne was already shouldering through the door. Simon ran a trembling hand through his hair and let out a tired sigh, falling back against the bulkhead. _What the hell just happened?_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am SO sorry that it took this long to update my story, but my laptop crashed. I lost the whole hard drive and had to return it to the manufacturer to get it fixed. That took entirely too long and they still haven't sent my battery back after being contacted about it. ANYWAYS- getting on topic here. After re-reading the first chapter I realized just how awkward all the foreign cuss words felt in the story, so this time I removed them completely despite losing some accuracy in transferring from the show. I hope that's okay with all of you. Thanks so much for everyone who reviewed, I appreciated those so much and hope that more will come. I hope this second chapter was worth the wait. **

Simon looked around the room nervously- drumming his fingers on the counter while watching a pot of the amorphous protein they passed for food bubble in a pot. He jumped and turned when he heard heavy footsteps approaching- afraid that they belonged to the one person he currently feared on this boat. River hopped into the kitchen with a wide grin on her face. She had been uncharacteristically quiet as of late and often gave him conspiratorial looks that could only mean trouble.

When he smelled the odd odor that signified the "food" was done he served River and himself a bowl. Sitting her down and getting her prepped for interaction with the others took only a minute but that was entirely too long for his dinner time jitters. Grabbing his own bowl he headed to the only spot that he really felt safe on the ship- his infirmary. Finally safe, he smiled when the ratty beat down couch came into view. From what he had overheard the couch had been on Serenity longer than any of the crew including the captain and it has long earned a place of respect among all of them.

He forced himself to take a few bites of the food (Jayne's words in the bathing room had been echoing inside his mind ever since), but was unable to eat even half. Lately he hadn't been able to eat much of anything let alone their food substitute- he'd begun losing weight and the crew was beginning to notice, so he had taken to eating alone (which just so happened to coincide with his wish to avoid Jayne). He prided himself on the fact that for approximately two weeks they hadn't been in a room alone together despite Jayne's attempts to corner him.

He sank back into the ever deepening couch and rubbed his eyes- insomnia taking its own toll on his current condition. Closing his eyes he felt as though he might actually be able to take a quick nap. He stretched and yawned- looking very much like a kitten when he heard a barely audible "Awwww…". Jayne immediately turned red and cleared his throat, looking as though he might turn away despite finally finding Simon in a compromising position.

Simon wished he could just run, but he knew this would come sometime if he and River were to stay on this ship. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep sigh, "I suppose this has been a long time coming."

"Well, don't sound so excited 'bout it." Jayne gave a sheepish grin, his attempt at lightening Simon's mood falling flat. He dropped heavily beside the smaller man and placed two shot glasses with one and a half bottles of some really foul smelling spirits on the table with a clink. "Y'know you should really try an' eat more," he gestured vaguely at the doctor "it's starting to show. And that's a shame for such a…. healthy man such as yerself." He rubbed his neck awkwardly "You wanna… talk or sumthin'?"

Simon laughed halfheartedly and turned to look at Jayne for the first time since he entered the room. " Is that what the alcohol is for? That actually works quite well for me. Communicating has never exactly been emphasized in my family- hence River's extreme condition." He attempted a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He expected a laugh or even a look of disdain, but to his surprise the mercenary had a soft, concerned look in his eyes. He was confused for a moment, but then he remembered the strangeness of their confrontation weeks earlier. "Jayne- what exactly are you hoping to get out of this?" He watched the other man intently and felt taken aback when he saw hurt blossom across Jayne's face.

"I see how it is then." Jayne moved to get up, but stopped when Simon laid his hand on the older man's arm. The look on his face was so full of hurt and desperation Jayne scolded himself for being so brash. He quietly filled the glasses and handed one to the doctor. For the first few minutes they drank in silence- neither willing to make the first move, but soon fighting the intoxication became too difficult.

Jayne turned to the other man and watched as his head lolled back and forth, not holding his liquor as well as the much more 'experienced' mercenary. When he finally caught Simon's eyes, he couldn't help himself from spilling out everything that had been swirling within him for the last few months. "I aint never met a person as stubborn, prissy, or ornery as you. For some reason, I like that. I've tried my best to ignore you and erm- distract myself with other _exploits_, but for some reason I just can't get you outta my head. There, said it." He put his lips to the bottle in his hands and took a generous swig, hissing as he swallowed.

He couldn't bring himself to look at the doctor in fear of rejection, but slowly turned when he felt a careful hand massage his shoulder. To his surprise he met a pair of soft, pink lips and frightened blue eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, all of you must really hate me. XP I disappear for three or four months and then give the shortest chapters ever in return. In any case, I appreciate all of you who don't! Thanks to all of you who are still reading. I hope you enjoy the next chapter and I do believe that it can remain under a T rating. (for now O.o)I am hungaray for reviews and would very much appreciate them. ^^ I am also always up for any and all suggestions as to where I should go with the story (because if I'm honest with all of you, I honestly don't know where I'm going with this -_-). Please help guide this story into the light! I love all of you, please love my story back in return. ^^**

Jayne stiffened- unsure what to do now that he had been thrust into this position without warning. Sweating a little he thought of what he wanted to do, but was certain that was out of the question, especially with the young doctor in such a state. Surely there were alternatives though he admitted that all of his ideas centered around making the core boy shed his carefully constructed composure.

The smaller man still stared at him with wide eyes- albeit hazy ones- unable to comprehend just what had led them into this situation. He was absolutely terrified that this might not be what the rough mercenary had been suggesting. Despite his fear, he couldn't keep himself from noticing the pleasant prickle of the man's beard, the heady musk that saturated his clothes, or hard curve of the muscled arms in his grasp.

Being wound up so tight for so long- it seemed that he had finally snapped. With the aid of alcohol's not-so-gentle shove in the "right" direction he'd thrown himself at the gruff man that drove him mad in so many different ways. Now that they'd finally touched he found himself using all his strength not to tear at his suddenly constrictive clothes and lose himself in the passion of another- something he hadn't done for entirely too long. He just wished that Jayne would so _something_ besides stare at him with that blank expression and rigid composure.

Jayne broke out of his trance abruptly and grabbed Simon firmly by the shoulders. Breaking the kiss- his gaze swept the room before settling on the doctor again. Seeming to finally come to a decision he tackled the younger man with a low growl escaping his teeth. Convinced that his life was just about to end, Simon flinched but instead of being met with a painful blow he felt a hot whisper tickle his ear, "Fuck it all, I need you."

Simon's eyes went wide at the statement and he groaned as he felt rough hands tug at his hair and the scratch of the other man's beard against his throat. Simon took a deep breath and released it slowly letting his defiance and pride go with it. He clutched at the other man's back and arched into his warm body- anxiously awaiting the moment when his mind finally shut down and the heat of the moment was all that was left.

Jayne's calloused hands slid down to the boy's jaw- holding his head leaning in for a kiss. Simon drew a sharp intake of breath _'Hadn't he said- ?'_ he didn't have the time to finish his thought as he heard the clank of boots and a small giggle off to his side. With nauseating speed his awareness returned- at least as much as the alcohol allowed. "I knew it! I could see-".

Simon flushed a deep red and roughly forced his way out from under Jayne, unable to hear anything that the other two occupants of the room might be saying- his heart hammering in his ears. He headed into his room, locking the door behind him only able to think '_I was caught. What did I do?'_ over and over. It was a self deprecating mantra that took over his thoughts, the alcohol feeding the black though. _What did I do?_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: To the eight people who have reviewed my story thus far: I love you all and am grateful for your considerable help in motivating me to get my act together. ^^ To my as of yet anonymous readers: I appreciate all of you for taking the time to read my story! Minor clarification from my miserable last chapter: River caught them and I somehow forgot to make that clear in any way, shape, or form. My sincerest apologies. I hope this chapter makes up for the last and would love to see more reviews come in! I am still more than open to any and all suggestions and would love to hear from some of you guys to see where you would like this story to go! Last, but not least, everyone give some applause to my new and awesome beta: veggiegoku! With veggie's help this chapter has been perfected for your viewing pleasure. :D Now please enjoy!**

For the next few days- which seemed more like an eternity to Jayne- the burly mercenary threw all of his frustrated energy into his workout and taking all the subtlety out of being passive aggressive with the rest of the crew. Simon had turned the avoidance knob up another notch and somehow the entire crew knew exactly who to blame for it. He felt as though he'd finally had a shot at experiencing all the young doctor had to offer- with the small price of taking some of the edge off of his infamous reputation- but he had let the opportunity slip through his fingers. Rushing headlong into situations and making it through them with sheer force of will was something that he was notoriously good at, but he had known that wouldn't work when trying to woo the doc. He should have known better than to consume alcohol with his already tenuous control over his actions.

Simon was not some cheap woman at the local bar, and as such most of what Jayne knew about relationships was thrown out the window. He frequently tried to convince himself that he just wasn't cut out for this kind of relationship, but every time he felt certain his infatuation was gone he caught sight of a vulnerable looking core boy sitting alone in the infirmary- and his heart nearly melted. Currently, he was attempting to wrench all these horrid thoughts from his mind with good, old fashioned violence- perhaps a little too gleefully beating the stuffing out of a makeshift punching bag in the cargo hold.

Serenity had just landed on a seedy little planet and he was anxiously waiting for Mal to finish making docking arrangements with the dirty military men that ran this place's excuse for a government. He was eager to find an equally seedy, dirty bar to drown his sorrows and perhaps get in a good brawl. Just as he delivered a punishing blow to the dummy (thankfully putting the pathetic thing out of its misery as it split down the middle) he caught Simon descending into the hold- looking more than a little distracted, but with his lips pressed together firmly in grim determination.

"Now just what th' hell do ya think you're doin'?" he groused, a little more hostile than he intended.

"I need some things in town and the captain is nearly finished with negotiating our stay." Simon was dressed as prim and proper as ever- not a hair out of place, but to those who knew him something was clearly off. He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortable as Jayne's brows furrowed in response. "Is that a problem?"

"You bet your prissy lil' ass that's a problem! This here planet in no place for a softy like you-" he jabbed his finger into Simon's stomach to emphasize his point, "- and I forbid you from going. Anything you need in town I can pick up for ya." He grasped Simon firmly by his shoulders and turned to escort him back to the infirmary, unable to keep from smiling at his spontaneous shot at chivalry.

Simon planted his feet firmly at the bottom of the stairs and turned his face to shoot Jayne an icy glare. "And why exactly do you think that I would submit to you?" Jayne's brain stopped working momentarily at submit, but he cleared his throat loudly and scratched his head to try and cover the stutter in his train of thought.

Jayne straightened his spine and tried his best to talk in a scholarly manner- " I-" he pointed to himself with much bravado, "being a manly and rugged mercenary-" he flexed his muscles and stroked his beard animatedly, "have much more experience in these here affairs, than a pretty, delicate core boy such as yerself." he finished by gesturing pointedly at Simon's carefully styled hair and impeccable, shiny vest. He grinned widely, bouncing on his heels, obviously pleased with himself.

Simon bristled visibly, but was unable to speak for a moment, finding the older man before him just this side of endearing. "And what makes you think that you will be able to procure these items for me? They are medical in nature, and therefore largely outside your areas of comprehension."

Jayne crossed his arms and gave an exaggerated huff. "I think you just insulted me."

Simon couldn't help the small smile that ghosted across his lips as he raised an eyebrow in amusement. " That is quite the astute observation. Have you completely forgotten the time I last tried to teach you medical terms? I believe that was shortly before the captain tried to kill you for being a self-serving ass."

A small blush of shame blossomed across Jayne's cheeks, but he could tell that the statement held no animosity, and he shoved his hands in his pockets- giving a sheepish shrug. "You could always write me a list." He was afraid that his attempt to prove his trustworthiness to the doctor might be evaporating into thin air and he was starting to panic a little.

But just then the younger man's shoulders slouched- resigned to his fate. "I'll be right back with that list, but don't think that means that you've won." Jayne watched him intently as the doctor disappeared into the ship unable to contain the anticipation that was boiling inside him. He'd never felt any thrill in courtship and so he had never pursued that form of relationship. Simon was different though- snarky, sharp, and challenging. For the first time he was interested in the chase.

As he heard Simon approaching again he tried to wipe the idiotic grin off of his face and replaced it instead with his best attempt at a scowl. "Took ya long enough." he grunted, making a show of crossing his arms and rocking back and forth on his heels.

Simon narrowed his eyes and slowed noticeably, taking each step with an unnecessary amount of caution- pausing at the landing to untie and retie each of his shoes. When he rose his mouth was set in a hard line, but his eyes sparked with playfulness as he handed over a neatly folded square of paper. "I do hope that you will be able to handle this." Jayne wasn't sure whether the young man had meant the phrase as innuendo, but he decided to take it as such.

"Don't worry, I can handle anything you throw at me." trying his best to move slower, he couldn't help but throw in a wink and mischievous smirk.Simon's cheeks tinged pink and it took all of Jayne's focus not to cup his jaw and stroke the blush with his thumb. He stashed the image in the back of his head, instead choosing to kick absentmindedly at the floor. He heard the doc rush back up the stairs and unfolded the paper holding it as though it were something precious. The lettering was small and neat, and eclectic mix of print and cursive letters. Jayne stuck the list in his pocket and made sure to look extra cantankerous as he exited the ship.

* * *

He returned a few hours later, no longer faking his foul mood. Simon hadn't been exaggerating when he had talked about the difficulty in buying the various outlandish medications and musty diagnostic volumes that he had moved to in his attempts to treat River. He had to admit that he admired the younger man's dedication to the girl that he spent most of his waking hours on. He wasted no time heading to the infirmary, eager to see the surprise on Simon's face when he was given every item that was listed.

He stopped just outside the small room, noticing someone else inside with the doctor. He frowned as he watched Mal chat with Simon, taking up more personal space than was necessary with that flirtatious, lopsided smirk of his. Jayne growled low in his throat entering the infirmary, not at all pleased with the captain's growing interest with their newest passenger. The two of them turned at the sound of the doors opening and Jayne couldn't keep from sneering haughtily when he noticed the awkwardness of Simon's demeanor and the obvious discomfort in his stance.

He moved to Simon's side, effectively pushing Mal out of the implied space bubble and felt his ego grow considerably when the young doctor relaxed, a smile in his eyes. He turned to acknowledge his captain with mock admiration before blocking him completely off from the conversation. "I got everything on list… and a little somethin' extra too." he waggled his eyebrows and smiled at Mal's overly loud snort of derision.

Simon set the bag aside without looking inside and started rifling through his pockets, "How much did it end up costing you?" Jayne ogled at the money in his hands wishing his conscience was still small enough to let him scam a little extra off the inexperienced doctor.

"Naw, 's my treat." he rubbed his neck uncomfortably, playing dumb when both men gave him astonished looks. He shrugged sheepishly when both of them remained silent, "What? I've had a good couple-a weeks."

"Please, I know the medicine, at least, didn't come cheap." he tried and failed to stuff some money into Jayne's hand. The captain threw Jayne a withering look and left the infirmary, a frown set deep into his features. Jayne grinned triumphantly out the windows, but stiffened awkwardly when he felt Simon tuck the money into his back pocket, clearly making more contact than was necessary. He watched, slightly bewildered, as the younger man walked past smoothly, heading out of the infirmary and towards River's bunk with the bag of supplies in hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry that this took so long to get up. I know I promised to get my shit together, and I am trying, really. I re-wrote this chapter from scratch like three different time because I just couldn't make it be what I wanted. :/ Anyways, I have decided to branch out a lil', and put another crew member in here! I do hope that I do them justice. As always, I LOVE and HIGHLY encourage all comments/criticisms/suggestions that you might have. Absolutely anything you wanna say, I wanna hear, even if you think it's trivial. I love all you guys. **

**Also- shameless self-pimping: I am now on livejournal! Come visit me there! It's davynn dot livejournal dot com I am bribing all of you's! First five peoples that message me there can have a free oneshot of their specifications from me! Pathetic and shameless self promoting, but there it is. ^^ Now on to your story:**

Simon leaned against the wall of Inara's shuttle, the lush fabrics hanging there cushioning his back and making it seem as though he wasn't floating around space in a ship nearly old enough to be considered an antique. He fiddled absentmindedly with one of the many statuettes that dotted the room as he watched her prepare the room for a client that was very particular about their encounters. The ship was due to touch down on a fairly respectable moon in a few days and he knew that she would be 'occupied' for the duration of their stay. This was not something that he was looking forward to- Inara being one of the people on the ship who better understood where he came from and how he saw the world. He'd been having a bad week, worse than usual at least, and he wasn't sure he could handle being cooped up on the ship for the next while without her company to keep him sane. It seemed as though he was never allowed off the vessel- outer planets being too dangerous in the 'rough and tumble' fashion, but core planets being too dangerous in a 'high risk' fashion.

Simon let out a heavy sigh as he placed the statuette back in its proper place and turned to leave. He had not heard any screaming, laughing, or the general clonking of his sister's boots for nearly a half hour, and that was never a good sign. "Simon, wait." Inara turned her attention back to him, a stern look coming over her features. "There's something that's bothering you- something different than the usual." she perched on the edge of her bed, channeling her mother hen instincts. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't wish, but I don't think you came in here just to watch me redecorate." Simon paused, mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he searched for a coherent reply.

"It's Jayne." he finally managed, taking a sudden interest in the pattern of the rug below him. When all he got was a confused, but unsurprised look, he continued on, the words coming faster and faster as his brain rushed to purge itself of all relevant thoughts. That's how it always was when he was nervous- everything just spilling out while he babbled- unable to censor any of his thoughts. "It's not what you think, he's not tormenting me. Well- he is, but this is different. Not the actions, his methods are pretty much still the same. He's trying to get under my skin- to make me uncomfortable, but in a good way. I mean his intentions are good…. I think. Well, you see-" Inara pressed her fingers to his lips and he was forced to look back up at her. Her eyes were wide and an expression just this side of frenzied was pulling at her usually graceful features.

"Jayne?" Simon slowly nodded his head, glad that she had caught his meaning without him actually having to say it aloud. Her brows furrowed and she began to pace the room, occasionally throwing a look over her shoulder and asking in the same worried tone, "Jayne?" He groaned and placed his head between his knees as he waited for her to work past the shock. "Why not the captain? We've all seen the way he is around you." her voice was falsely upbeat as she proposed this.

"The captain only sees me as an easy way out." Simon mumbled from his uncomfortable position. "What he really wants is you, but you challenge him, make him work for it." as he said it, they both knew it to be true, but Simon felt no bitterness for the situation. Mal was a nice enough man and could charm a smile off anybody if he put his mind to it, but they just didn't 'click'- besides the fact that everyone on board could plainly see the affinity that Mal and Inara had. "He's not ready to be with you yet, but give him some time."

Eventually he felt practiced fingers begin carding through his hair as she spoke in a much calmer voice. "I suppose Jayne is ruggedly handsome- if you shred away his personality, and give him a decent change of clothes." they both laughed softly at the thought and Simon felt brave enough to straighten his back and face her. Her gaze was caring, albeit a little confused. "When did this happen?"

Simon blushed furiously as he tried to be nonchalant about his response, "Well, I've always found him rather attractive, but I suppose you mean when did emotions besides lust come into play?" she nodded and covered her mouth, not so subtly trying to hide her amusement. "Hmm… that-" he let out a weighted breath, "is a long story."

* * *

Simon fell back onto his bunk and covered his eyes with his arm- this was not the kind of complication that he needed right now. Taking care of River, keeping the crew healthy, and staying out of sight of the alliance was taxing enough as it was, but to try and add a relationship- with Jayne of all people- was probably going to be more than he could handle. Alternatively, what if this was exactly what he needed? He hadn't _been _with anyone since he had received that encrypted message from River. When he thought about having a warm body to curl up against at night, it was almost more than he could bear.

He took a deep breath and sat up, taking a moment to compose himself. He had work to do and wishful thinking wasn't going to help his sister. The bag of supplies Jayne had brought him sat beside his bed, and with his mouth set in a firm line he began to rummage through the medical tomes and assortment of medicines. He organized them by likelihood of effectiveness, cataloguing the many different methods that he had not yet tried and crossing each item off of the list he had made. His expression began to grow grim as each possible treatment grew more desperate than the last.

Frowning, he realized that he had reached the end of the list, but there was still a small box left in the bottom of the bag. He pulled the ornate container out, examining the oriental designs that textured its sides. It was surprisingly heavy, and emanated a heady aroma. Simon sat back on his bed, laying against the wall and gingerly lifted the lid. Inside was a handful of tea bags and a small jar. He lifted one of the filters to his nose and inhaled lightly- it was something warm, heavily spiced, definitely exotic. With a small smile he placed it carefully back in the box and moved to the jar.

With a small gasp, he held it up to the light, a thrill racing up his spine. The amber liquid glowed softly and Simon cautiously opened the lid. Dipping his pinky finger in the viscous substance, he brought it back up to his lips warily, and with a tremble of anticipation, sucked it onto his tongue. His eyes widened as the familiar flavor diffused through his mouth, and he wistfully mused as to how the jar had gotten there. Honey, real honey. His cheeks flushed as a smile forced its way across his lips and as understanding followed, he let out a breathy, "Jayne…"

* * *

Jayne pounded on the heavy door for what seemed like the thousandth time, his patience long since run out. "You open this gorram door woman!" He knew that Inara was in her shuttle and he had to have a talk with her before they landed. He knew that she had clients lined up and would be leaving the ship for the next few days. He tried to contain his anxious anger, fists clenched, breathing heavy, muscles tense. He'd finally gotten the doc to start looking at him like he was more than just the hired muscle, but Simon was a very private person and Jayne didn't know how to get him to open up. He usually let his body do the talking in these kinds of situations, but that was most certainly off the table. Simon would need to be courted, so he sought out the one person that could help.

"Jayne, I already told you that I will, under no circumstances, let you in my shuttle ever again." her voice was muffled through the thick steel of the door, but he could hear the determination in it all the same.

"That was just a… misunderstandin'." he grit his teeth when, after another few moments nothing happened. "'Sides, this aint about you. It's-" Jayne hesitated, wondering if this was really worth it, if he was ready for this. This was the tipping point, once he said it aloud this would be real. "It's about Simon." for a moment it seemed as if not even that would change her mind, but then he heard the heavy slide of the latch and Inara slid the door open just enough to poke her head out.

She narrowed her eyes and scrutinized him with pursed lips, "What about Simon?"

Jayne just shook his head, knowing now that he had the upper hand, "If you wanna hear more, we gotta talk inside."


	6. Author's Note

Hey guys, I just wanted to drop by and say: Yes I am still alive, no I have not given up on this story, and yes I am working towards my hopefully triumphant return. :P I've just hit a bit of an inspirational block on this and my other WIP, Transatlanticism, and I don't want to continue on unless I'm 100% confident in my writing. I really wanna give this story my all so I hope you all understand why I've put it on hold.

I sincerely hope you guys will stick with me and I am gonna try my best to be a semi-respectable author.

Thanks for just being awesome and keep on keepin' on,

Anti-canon


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